It now appears to be mandatory to start the blog-post by apologising for not writing for a long time. It's not that I don't enjoy sharing the daily tid-bits of our havoc of a life, its actually quite the opposite. More so, it is such a nostalgic experience to read them from time to time and reminisce the crazy days and events that we have lived and survived. Time is an expensive commodity and in many cases, a luxury that none of us can afford. It is like money distributed when you play a board game. You can't buy more money but you can use it in such a way that it maximises other earnings. Only difference is that time is a rather misleading thing. It slips through the fingers so freely before we can register the knowledge that we are losing it. It's all rather frightening. We are now in our final year of University but it only seems like yesterday when I met these three crazy people for the very first time and thought to myself, "What a weird bunch". Now, I am pretty sure, people say that about us.
A lot has happened in the past few months. We have had near escapes from many, many deadlines. We discovered new secret routes. in an out of Brunel (we are awesome, I know). A new cafe opened in Uxbridge and we no longer spend hours in Starbucks either. Not because we now spend hours in the new cafe (which, by the way is called Harris and Hoole) and neither because Starbucks haven't paid God knows how much tax in years. There just aren't enough hours in the day anymore. There have been laughter and there have been tears but this post is to discuss something different. But if I think of an interesting story, I promise to mention it or maybe write another post about it. Who knows? It all depends on the strength of my procrastinating behaviour
Yesterday it was only Lalita and I, the party of two that was at university. It was a miserable cold and rainy day and to be honest, neither of us wanted to be there. Also, there were numerous signs to stop us from going too (the never ending train delays due to "person incidents" at God forsaken middle-of-nowhere stations). It was like the world was conspiring to keep us away from that room full computers which has the unfinished work sitting in. But like the good students we are, we fought our way through the 0km/h travelling trains and made it to the university against (all) odds. Now I am not going to comment on how much work we actually manage to do because it's the thought that counts and I know this sentence can't be forcefully stuffed just anywhere but it does fit here very nicely and I'm sure Lalita would agree with me. Afterwards, when we realised that we could actually sit here for an entire lifetime without actually getting anywhere, we decided to leave. We ended up(Read:thoroughly searched on the Internet for reviews, location and menu) in a little cafe/bookshop in Holborn. One could easily pass through this place without realising what a little wonder of a place it is. The bookshop itself is quite big, covering 2 floors of spaces. It's not your usual Waterstones either. It has books from far away lands and ones that you won't find or will actually think of reading. Even though we visited the place for the sake of drinking some nice coffee, we actually quite enjoyed flicking through pages of books in the poetry section and discovering (almost) complete collection of book by Freud in the psychology section. This was all before we sat down to eat the most delicious pecan and maple tart. So scrumptious that Lalita decided to let go of her vegan lifestyle for a day. While we sat there, promising ourselves that we are definitely coming back here and marvelling at the tart's ability to induce goosebumps on my arms, we talked about lots of things. We talked about seriously sad, honest realities of life. We talked about recent tragedies and heart-breaks which I shall not indulge you in because I don't want to see you sad (or know that you are, or think that you might be) I will however, tell you something that I learnt from last night. Something that helped me to sleep a little better in a long, long long time. Something that made me realise that All there is ever, is now.
Everything made extra impact because it was all very dramatic. Lalita's hair were blowing in a very Hollywood manner because the wind was fierce and as I have said before, hair swishing makes everything better
There is no other way to live but in the here and now. The future is as uncertain as the past which is now set in stone. Live for the moment. Do things that will make you happy now. There is no future, it will be the present of that time. Love and laugh! nothing can mar our perfection, or steal the joy of this perfect moment. Drink tea. Feel all warm and fuzzy. Be patient. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself. Take risks and get that adrenaline rushing. Eat cake and get a sugar rush. All there is ever, is now. Share your love and give your time to those you care about. Get sad sometimes. We all need downtime. We can only gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it. We can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one. Don't be afraid of heart-breaks that could be or will be. Grab whatever chance you have of happiness. The past increases every day, the future recedes. Possibilities decrease, regrets mount. It's far better to regret things that you did than regret those you never did. The greater good comes from being happy now. Every day, we all sacrifice little things for the future. How will we know when the future is finally here and it's time to be happy? We won't. Don't break you heart now even though it might have to break later. This temporary happiness might ease that pain. Who knows? The whole point is that no one does.We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one. There are no other chances at single moments.
I hope you remember this and I wish for myself to remember this next time I feel myself trying to live for the future
“I wanted to tell her everything, maybe if I'd been able to, we could have lived differently, maybe I'd be there with you now instead of here. Maybe... if I'd said, 'I'm so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything,' maybe that would have made the impossible possible. Maybe, but I couldn't do it, I had buried too much too deeply inside me. And here I am, instead of there.”
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Kisses and cake