Here’s a little Lake nursery rhyme for you. Evil comes in 1’s. Shoes come in 2’s. Bad luck comes in 3’s. Weird things come in 4’s. Or rather, weird things happen when 4 come together (the 4 in this instance referring to the Lake’s in case you’re a bit...um, special). Some good situations, some bad, but if there's one thing you can be sure of, they are definitely always weird; controversies, losses and some rather disturbing (and hence unmentionable) things. It's not that we don't want to tell you, we're honestly not that selfish, but trust us when we say it's for your own good. All the Lake’s have, rather unfortunately, passed the point of insanity, but we’re optimistic that there might still be some hope for you. The fact that you’re reading this blog in the first place doesn’t speak too well for your mental health though, so if you’re here, you may as well come on the journey with us. Or leave and go and see a therapist. Either way, don’t be too scared. As always, we have used initials and fake names where appropriate to protect the ‘innocent’, either because we don’t know these people in real life (you’d be amazed how often that happens) or because our given title suits them better. The Lake’s are never wrong, alright? So if you’re a newcomer or just have a tendency to get confused like me, head on over to our first post and have a little refresher course. Relive the days when we were young, naive and the good times rolled. Ahh well, nothing lasts forever, so let’s proceed.
I have learned recently from very reliable sources (Emily and Amanda) that Emily was giving a certain CG evil glances in a lecture last Thursday when ¾ of the Lake’s (basically everyone but Emily) were mysteriously absent. Hmm, how did that happen? *Whistles and tries not to look suspicious*. I was...well, I’m sure I’ll think of a really good excuse after I’ve posted this. Isn’t that always the way? Anyways, apparently she was sitting in an empty row when he thought about sitting beside her. Emily, however, is a fearsome creature, and one look from her sent him scuttling to another row. Poor boy. So I would like to dedicate a line from a song from Emily to CG (even though she’s gonna kill me, it’s worth it)
“Sticks and stones will break your bones and leave you lying in the mud,
But you get scared when we’re alone, like I’m gonna suck your blood.”- The Pierces, ‘Sticks and Stones’ (good song, check it out)
Emily also now claims that CG doesn’t wash his clothes and never changes them, which is perhaps the reason she has no desire to sit next to him. I think ‘the lady doth protest too much’ if you ask me (not that anyone did, but I’m allowed to be rhetorical sometimes!). She must spend a lot of time focused on him, because I couldn’t tell you what he wears from one week to the next. As I’ve mentioned to my Lake’s, and I’m sure Amanda will back me up on this one, I've never really noticed anything below his neck. He's not called CG for nothing you know.
Moving swiftly on, we’ve made a new friend (quite literally!), she’s our very own creation, and her name is Bobbette (no last name, just like Pink or Madonna). In all actuality, she’s Kathleen's creation because we would rather not take credit for how Bobbette has ended up, despite what Kathleen may say about us all contributing. She’s so special she’s even got her own post on this blog now (that’s when you know you’ve made it as a friend of the Lake’s), so if you’re interested in meeting her, why don’t you head over to her entry now. Be prepared for a big surprise, but don’t be scared. There’s always the Jeremy Kyle show if that therapist doesn’t work out for you.
Finally, and least importantly, yesterday I lost my portable telephonic device, also known as a Blackberry Curve 8520. At first, I was kind of upset, but then I realised that in the grand scheme of things, it’s really nothing at all. Yes, I’m incredibly fortunate to have insurance, but even if I didn’t, you know what, I won’t die. It suddenly occurred to me after about 45 minutes of moping, that I still have my wonderful Lake’s (and even Bobbette), I have fun with them, and what’s a phone if you’ve got no friends to text or call? And I would like to thank them for all being supportive during my hour of need, and being there generally, doing stupid things with me.
“I like the face you make and when you dance with me.
I like the rules you break and when you dance with me.
I like the cake you bake and when you dance with me.
I like the chance you take so won't you dance with me?
I don't know why, I love you.
I just know I can't stop thinking of you
OH WAIT
It's cause you make me smile
You always make me smile”- Kyle Andrews, ‘You Always Make Me Smile’
Wishing you the best (almost) Lake life, (you can’t have it exactly because you are not a Lake, so there!)
Love, Lalita xxx (with contributions from the enchanting Emily)
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